| standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in |
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[08 Oct 2005|01:55am] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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I have never noticed until now how I never update this thing unless I am:
a) Drunk
b) Bored out of my skull
c) Depressed
( no I am not an agony aunt! )
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[03 Sep 2005|03:20pm] |
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mood |
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 wooooooo |
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Haven't updated in like ages and need something to do...( meow )
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[26 Jul 2005|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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 no Rich |
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Lonely.....so very lonely
.....but.....
6 DAYS LEFT THEN MY BOREDOM AND LONELY-NESS SHALL END WOOP!!!!!!!!!
Rich come home now baby :(
miss him lots I do
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[30 Jun 2005|10:27am] |
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its today kids
FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND, BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE...HERE I COME...WOOP
XXXXX
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[04 Jun 2005|11:07am] |
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26 days left till FFAF people!!!!
Wooooooooooooooooooop!!!!
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| moo moo moo |
[19 Apr 2005|02:41pm] |
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mood |
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 lesson time |
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hmm its been a while since I updated eh kids,
( Read more... )
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| oh isnt this fun.... |
[26 Jan 2005|12:42pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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sat at home on t'internet, kinda pissed off still at ben (yes u heard rite tosser).
just been readin rich's lj from like ever ago, scary stuff there man.
gotta do my work 4 i.t. sux major ass, just thinkin how once ive posted i never look back on them. i mean most of the posts are from me when im either depressed or bored so reading bak on them just brings up old thoughts and feelings.
its like the other day when i found my diary from the begining of last year, i mean i was soo blissfully happy then nothing made me feel sad. u could of chopped off my arm and id still of been smiling.
i mean as i read on it sort of got worse and it made me think about stuff like.
how much did i hurt andi???
i know u all thought i was really harsh 2 him 4 wot i did but none of u (besides sarah now) know how he made me feel, he was contolling and thought we would b together forever. it wasnt real though, life isnt like that.
i mean wow i was 1 hell of a bitch 2 him, but in my mind i beleived he honestly could do better without me. so i hurt him so much that he would never want me back. twisted, but it worked.
the only thing that made me think the most is when it got near the end of it, that was where i said about how it wasnt worth me writing everything down. i know i was told to either say what i thought to somebody or release my feelinngs somehow (i used 2 get ill from keeping everything inside and not tellin ppl wot i thought of them) but ive changed so much in that year.
i had a few problems over that year, but this year has hit off 2 a better start. yea there have been a few minor downers but over all im genuinly happy again, and it has been a long time since ive felt really happy.
i was way unhappy when i ended it with rich and missed him like mad. i havent felt like that bout ne guy before. i mean im cold hearted u all know that, kim u know how genuinly cold i can be. i can cut off emotions like people cut off the power to their tv.
Although its weird i mean were all happy...me,kimi and amber. i think its the first time all of us has been happy and not had reasons to have a shoulder to cry on, i know i havent been myself lately as in stopped goin out and callin u 2. sorry.
but its soo cool i can honestly say im the happiest ive been in ages, the only thing that gets me down is the illness originating from kimi and the lack of sleep.
rich, i love u so much baby thank u 4 bein there and wanting me xxxxxx
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[26 Jan 2005|09:40am] |
wot the hell was bens entry bout? he's become a rite dickheed lately.
wot is it wit ppl from leeds eh? they all suck major ass or something.
i mean seriously, was it me who put that comment...NO t'was the amberman she asked 4 my password so she could comment cos u took her off ur friends list.
so i was like yea sure, not knowin wot she was gonna put. then i bloody get it in the fxckin neck cos u all thought it was me! nice.
u can so not tell who ur bloody friends r when theyre asswipes from leeds!
TUBBY EMO love dannny (see even dannny agrees)
well anyway....kimi i will so come and stay over in ur new hoose when u get it. dannny is all upsetted cos i mite b movin college's.
parents r away on the 4th so guess wot im all home alone 4 the nite how will i survive ;)
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| "lips are quivering like a withering rose" |
[24 Jan 2005|11:07am] |
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mood |
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 hee hee |
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how do, sat in social once again.
been out every nite this weekend!!!
went to white room 2 c Macabre Visions on friday (woop!!!)
Saturday nite was the Promise (said id go like b4 hull fair last year) they were fxckin awesome!!!
and sunday was Freaks Union at t'wellington, how good were silence in the streets!!!!!
so yea this weekend was immence! mum gets bak 2day woop! she has presents 4 me!! well 4 my room neway.
so amber rich knows ur bf, they were in the same tutor group 4 5 yrs apparently.
hmm laura looks bored, she has her journal out. :O scary.
teachers r everywhere!! they want 2 teach us all useless nothings....
im bored!
gettin a bit carried away wit all the exclamation marks here ahahahahaha!!!!!!
i get paid from debenhmmmmmmmmmms on friday woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
thats like xmas bonus + tax + actual wages "im in the money"
caroline is here im still grrin at her 4 showin nasty pics of me at her party.
ah well its all good.
anna added me on myspace!!!!!!!!!!!!!! suave!!!!!!!
im offski now, cya laterz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[21 Jan 2005|02:18pm] |
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mood |
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glasses |
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hey peopoles
steve and phil are readin this mag bout a woman that got abused by her dad at 7. kinda gross.
See I try, and look up
To the sky, but my eyes burn (cloud)
wooo deftones rule!!
this is a story all about a sandwich called frank
ahhhh frank - donnie - jake - the day after tomorrow - "do u wanna freeze 2 death - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
its all connected!!!
ha i have work 2 do cya later xxxx
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| i dont feel so happy :( |
[20 Jan 2005|01:37pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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so am sat in social (the only place where i update)
feelin sorta down yet i have no idea y...its really weird.
im surrounded by ppl i dont like urgh yuck
so sara went 2 do english ages ago and im supposed 2 b doin my I.T work which is in 4 2morro.
damn it i feel so god damned down, i think its due 2 all this crap that is goin on atm, (its not fun)
mite go c Laura or Katie soon stay over there 4 a bit, need a break. even the littlest things seem 2 b gettin 2 me, i mean i properly yelled at my mum this morning and i swore i would never because of all the shit thats goin on atm so i screwed that up. im constantly in my room locking myself away from everything.
kinda gutted rich isnt comin ova 2nite but he has an essay 2do and if he doesnt do it he wont b able 2 c me nxt week which is shitty so hmmm.
mum noticed there was something wrong when i nearly choaked me little sister, hmmm its not good, not good at all.
been listenin 2 atreyu - bleedin mascara loads lately its such a good song!
need 2 pack nana's stuff 2nite so it can go 2 Katie, i hate gettin it out. brings back 2 many memories and i end up in tears.
anymahoodle im off 2 do some work b4 i fail I.T
cya xxxx
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[17 Jan 2005|12:00pm] |
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mood |
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emo glasses |
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hey hey hey, sat in college kinda bored as usual. out of all my friends that dont have lessons there is only me lynda and amber, so went 2 c TEAM AMERICA!!!
immense film, its sooooo cool. went wit richard of the shann (sounds like something from l.o.t.r) amber of the spencer has just turned up woop finally 1 of me girls gets here, really u 2.
so... yea still chuffed bout bein fired hahaha i got sacked.
didnt get my tattoo (no i didnt chicken out) booked for 5th feb mum is comin wit me so i have an adult signature. could of told me 1st asswipes.
she was BLONDEEEEEE jesus christ.
(breif of convo)
hey ive come 4 my tattoo -me
how old r u - blonde bimbo
16 i want the 5 year 1 which u can get at 16
have u got an adult comin
er no
then i cant do it
weh teh feh
wot?
u could of told me this before
wasnt my fault
wot?!?!? not ur fault for not tellin me i need an adult???
yes
r u stupid
no
fine ill make ANOTHER appointment
alright then remember 2 bring a parent
*gritted teeth* i will
ok there u go
thank u *walks out v.pissed off does the whole donnie darko teacher screamin fuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk*
so talk later gonna get free food xxxxx
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| i got fired hahaha |
[16 Jan 2005|04:32pm] |
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mood |
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 haha fired! |
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debenhmmmmmmmms fired me hahaha!
manjoe our plan can come in to action for workin at tesco's now, all we need r ur big geeky glasses.
then all will b well in the land of snazzuldoo. haha well i think i should really go now cos apparently mum is comin 2 pick me up soon, i knooooooowwwww its a very short entry but hey.
love ya all xxxxx
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